I wrote my first book, Nothing to Regret, in the year 2000, on a computer that was miraculously not damaged by Y2K. I was lucky, I guess. In the year 2000, I was 24 years old. My book was considered to be really good for someone so young. Some even went so far as to say that it was good without knowing how old I was when I wrote it, but once they found out, that comment inevitably followed. It was published in 2002, when I was 26.
My second book, Strength to Endure, was written in 2002, when I was 26 (as we just discovered) It was published in 2004.
Now I'm 30. Some might be surprised at my ready admission of my age. I'm actually pretty relieved to be 30. I'm hoping that at some point, the shock of my youngness might wear off and people might be able to enjoy my books on their own merits and not just because I was young when I wrote them.
Anyway, on to the real point of this blog.
As I look back on those first two books, I am very quick to notice all the errors. I can see all the repetitive word choices, the bad grammar, plot holes, things I wish my characters would have said but didn't -- all those things that an author can see but most of the time, the reader can't. And I must admit, I'm much too hard on myself.
I wrote those first books with very little actual training in how to write. I had taken two English classes from BYU Independent Study and one in journalism, also correspondence, and that was the extent of my learning. I was also, as we have pointed out, very young. Considering those elements, I should be more willing to cut myself some slack. Those books are pretty dang good!
But then I compare them to the novels I've written since (as yet unpublished) and I can see how much I've grown as a writer. It makes me wish that I could go back in time and rewrite those first two with everything I've learned in the meantime.
That would be impossible, though. I learned a great deal of what I learned by writing those first two books. They were the testing ground for me. If I had somehow managed to write them perfectly from the start, I wouldn't have had the growth experiences that I've had along the way. I'm a much better writer now for having written what I did then. I've been honing my skills on the bumpy edges of those first books and I think I'm coming out sharper.
So when you look back on the first things you've done, and wish you could go back and somehow make them perfect, don't. Our experiences shape who we become in the future. Look back on those mistakes as gifts, as tools, and then stop thinking about the past and get on with the future. It's a path of progression, one step at a time.
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Writer Tip #3 -- Setting the Tone
The comments Jeff Savage left for Writer Tip #2 flow into this tip so smoothly, it's almost like we planned it. Which we didn't, but I could act all glib and pretend like we did.
Today we're going to talk about setting the tone, either for your whole book or just for one scene. Jeff pointed out that your tone of voice will immediately convey to the reader what they are supposed to be thinking and feeling as they read, so I won't discuss voice too much here. What I'd like to concentrate on is the nitty-gritty of word choice.
Sometimes when we're typing along at 120 words per minute (because we all type that fast, right?) we throw in words that mean approximately what we want to say and tell ourselves that we'll come back and fix it later. That's a pretty wise practice -- why slow the flow when you're on a roll? Come back later and polish it up. And in that polishing, take a close look at each of your word choices.
For instance:
1. "A light rain fell." The word "light" instantly denotes a gentle spring rain, or a pleasant drizzle. This is a happy rain, rain we're glad to get, a refreshing respite from dry heat. We're glad to see this rain. You wouldn't say "A light rain fell, dampening the dead body that sprawled on the ground in a puddle of blood." (I'm sorry -- Jeff got me thinking about dead bodies. You can blame him.)
But what if it is lightly raining? Let's look at the word "light." What other words could we use to convey the same message (not very much rain) but with a less cheerful word? Off the top of my head, I can think of "slight," "drizzling," "scattered," and "intermittent." I'm sure you can come up with several as well.
2. "She smiled as she drove the stake through the vampire's heart." Okay, perhaps her teeth are exposed, but would she really be smiling? We'll assume here that this is the climax to a long, scary scene. Perhaps the vampire has been chasing her through the whole book and she's finally gaining her freedom. We've been building up stress and this should be the grand hi-ya! How about "grimaced" (although watch this one -- it's one of the more commonly overused words) or "gritted her teeth" Or even "inhaled through her teeth." All of these would indicate that her mouth was open and her teeth were showing, but "smiled" is too happy a word.
Okay, I realize I've gone a little off the deep end with these examples. Once you get me thinking about dead bodies, who knows where I'll end up. But in summary: set the tone of the scene with your word choice. Don't use happy words in a tense setting. If you're creating a happy setting, don't use tense words unless you're building up to something later on. Keep your word choices consistent with the feeling you want your reader to have. Now I'm gonna go gut me a vampire.
Today we're going to talk about setting the tone, either for your whole book or just for one scene. Jeff pointed out that your tone of voice will immediately convey to the reader what they are supposed to be thinking and feeling as they read, so I won't discuss voice too much here. What I'd like to concentrate on is the nitty-gritty of word choice.
Sometimes when we're typing along at 120 words per minute (because we all type that fast, right?) we throw in words that mean approximately what we want to say and tell ourselves that we'll come back and fix it later. That's a pretty wise practice -- why slow the flow when you're on a roll? Come back later and polish it up. And in that polishing, take a close look at each of your word choices.
For instance:
1. "A light rain fell." The word "light" instantly denotes a gentle spring rain, or a pleasant drizzle. This is a happy rain, rain we're glad to get, a refreshing respite from dry heat. We're glad to see this rain. You wouldn't say "A light rain fell, dampening the dead body that sprawled on the ground in a puddle of blood." (I'm sorry -- Jeff got me thinking about dead bodies. You can blame him.)
But what if it is lightly raining? Let's look at the word "light." What other words could we use to convey the same message (not very much rain) but with a less cheerful word? Off the top of my head, I can think of "slight," "drizzling," "scattered," and "intermittent." I'm sure you can come up with several as well.
2. "She smiled as she drove the stake through the vampire's heart." Okay, perhaps her teeth are exposed, but would she really be smiling? We'll assume here that this is the climax to a long, scary scene. Perhaps the vampire has been chasing her through the whole book and she's finally gaining her freedom. We've been building up stress and this should be the grand hi-ya! How about "grimaced" (although watch this one -- it's one of the more commonly overused words) or "gritted her teeth" Or even "inhaled through her teeth." All of these would indicate that her mouth was open and her teeth were showing, but "smiled" is too happy a word.
Okay, I realize I've gone a little off the deep end with these examples. Once you get me thinking about dead bodies, who knows where I'll end up. But in summary: set the tone of the scene with your word choice. Don't use happy words in a tense setting. If you're creating a happy setting, don't use tense words unless you're building up to something later on. Keep your word choices consistent with the feeling you want your reader to have. Now I'm gonna go gut me a vampire.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Writer Tip #2 -- Placing Your Reader
When you write a book, you are inviting your reader to enter a world of your own creation and asking them to believe that what you're telling them is either real or could really happen. You create this atmosphere through your choice of words and rely on the reader's imagination to provide the picture. You and the reader work as a team to form the entire scope from what the city/town/planet looks like to how the characters' voices sound.
Within the first page or two of the book, your reader needs to know where they are so they can start creating this fictional world in their minds. If they don't know they're supposed to be in an office and ten pages into the story, a character turns around and puts a document in the Xerox machine, and the reader was imagining a forest, it will throw them completely out of the loop and make them feel unsure about their footing. If your story is taking place in the past, make sure your reader knows this immediately.
Bad Example #1: Yasmine sighed as she looked at the calender that hung on her brown paneled office wall, thirty stories above the Manhattan shopping district, and noted that it was January 18th, 2006.
We can see through this example where she is (in her office in Manhattan) why she's there (she works there) and what day it is (1/18/2006) But do we care? I don't know about you, but I don't, and I wrote the thing! If anyone should care, it's me!
Sometimes the simplest way to establish a date, especially if you're writing historical fiction, is to include the date in the chapter heading. Otherwise, you're stuck doing stuff like:
Bad Example #2: George couldn't believe it had been a whole year since the assasination of Martin Luther King.
Okay, this gives us a time frame, but if Martin Luther King doesn't immediately play into the story or into George's life, don't use this as a time frame just to get the reader to know the date. It's a stiff ploy.
So here's a good rule of thumb: Take a look at the first two pages of your manuscript. Who is your character, where are they, and why are they there? Nichole Giles over on LDSWritersBlogck wrote a great blog on this topic called "Giving it Away." http://ldswritersblogck.blogspot.com/2006_07_09_ldswritersblogck_archive.html
In summary, if your reader doesn't know where they are in your story almost instantly, you need to rewrite. Imagine if you had been blindfolded, shoved in a van, driven around for an hour and then dumped in a remote location, not knowing one thing about your new surroundings. Don't do this to your reader. Provide their surroundings immediately so they can start to feel at home in your story.
Within the first page or two of the book, your reader needs to know where they are so they can start creating this fictional world in their minds. If they don't know they're supposed to be in an office and ten pages into the story, a character turns around and puts a document in the Xerox machine, and the reader was imagining a forest, it will throw them completely out of the loop and make them feel unsure about their footing. If your story is taking place in the past, make sure your reader knows this immediately.
Bad Example #1: Yasmine sighed as she looked at the calender that hung on her brown paneled office wall, thirty stories above the Manhattan shopping district, and noted that it was January 18th, 2006.
We can see through this example where she is (in her office in Manhattan) why she's there (she works there) and what day it is (1/18/2006) But do we care? I don't know about you, but I don't, and I wrote the thing! If anyone should care, it's me!
Sometimes the simplest way to establish a date, especially if you're writing historical fiction, is to include the date in the chapter heading. Otherwise, you're stuck doing stuff like:
Bad Example #2: George couldn't believe it had been a whole year since the assasination of Martin Luther King.
Okay, this gives us a time frame, but if Martin Luther King doesn't immediately play into the story or into George's life, don't use this as a time frame just to get the reader to know the date. It's a stiff ploy.
So here's a good rule of thumb: Take a look at the first two pages of your manuscript. Who is your character, where are they, and why are they there? Nichole Giles over on LDSWritersBlogck wrote a great blog on this topic called "Giving it Away." http://ldswritersblogck.blogspot.com/2006_07_09_ldswritersblogck_archive.html
In summary, if your reader doesn't know where they are in your story almost instantly, you need to rewrite. Imagine if you had been blindfolded, shoved in a van, driven around for an hour and then dumped in a remote location, not knowing one thing about your new surroundings. Don't do this to your reader. Provide their surroundings immediately so they can start to feel at home in your story.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Traffic School -- Oy, vey!
About two months ago I was heading in to Orem via Geneva Road and turned up on 400 South. I was driving my ten-year-old van, a reliable and sturdy vehicle which has difficulty going up hills. For those of you not familiar with that area, 400 S has a fairly steep hill on the stretch from Geneva to 900 W, and so I gave it some gas, as I usually do. My tradition has been to give it enough gas to make it to the top of the hill at the speed limit, but then, since it's full of gas, when the van levels out, I'm going too fast, so I then tap on the brake until I'm back to speed limit. This is what I was doing on that fateful day.
However, my previously reliable system failed me. Sitting right at the top of the hill, right where I usually start my deceleration process, was one of Orem's finest. We'll call him Officer X. He had out his little radar gun and bleeped it at me just as I leveled out at the top of the hill. I tapped the brake as I usually do, hoping that maybe he'd see that I was slowing down. I glanced in my rearview mirror. He got in his car. He pulled out. He turned on the blinky lights. He was following me.
I'll interrupt myself here to say that I've never been pulled over. I'm 30 years old and I think that's a pretty good track record. I'm a law abiding citizen. Things like this just don't happen to me.
I pulled over, trembling a bit. I knew he was going to ask for my license and registration. I made (what I realize now) what could have been a mistake -- I unhooked my seatbelt to reach into the glove box while Officer X was walking up to the van. I think he saw me unbuckle because he didn't say anything about it, but if the unthinkable should ever happen and I get pulled over again, I'll leave the belt on until I'm sure the officer has seen it.
I tried to explain to him about having to accelerate to get up the hill. He gave me one of those “oh, no, not the I-can’t-get-the-van-up-the-hill-without-putting-on-the-gas-but-then-I-slow-down story” looks. Fact of the matter is, I was speeding when I passed him. He only cited me for going nine miles over the limit when in actuality I was going fifteen over. (But I was slowing down! Honestly!)
Now, what is probably the most embarrassing part of this story is where I was going. To a business dinner, to interview a Vietnam veteran for my next book. Not that meeting him was embarrassing; that part was fun. But to have to explain why I was late? To someone who had risked their life to defend our country and I was out recklessly disobeying the laws of the land? That was embarrassing. And he teased me. Mercilessly. My own husband, when he joined us fifteen minutes or so later, didn’t tease me that much. He said he’d let the other guy take care of it.
So, anyway, I decided to go to traffic school. I couldn’t handle the thought of a ticket blemishing my previously spotless record. Three hours of this last Saturday were spent at the Orem court, watching film after film of cars being pulverized. It was like a Scared Straight program. And the worst part – the officer teaching it – you guessed it. Officer X. Who teased me. Mercilessly.
I guess every story should have a moral, as opposed to endless, mindless rambling, which I happen to enjoy from time to time. The point to this blog? Don’t speed in Orem. Or you’ll get teased.
This is going to make a great scene or two in a book someday.
However, my previously reliable system failed me. Sitting right at the top of the hill, right where I usually start my deceleration process, was one of Orem's finest. We'll call him Officer X. He had out his little radar gun and bleeped it at me just as I leveled out at the top of the hill. I tapped the brake as I usually do, hoping that maybe he'd see that I was slowing down. I glanced in my rearview mirror. He got in his car. He pulled out. He turned on the blinky lights. He was following me.
I'll interrupt myself here to say that I've never been pulled over. I'm 30 years old and I think that's a pretty good track record. I'm a law abiding citizen. Things like this just don't happen to me.
I pulled over, trembling a bit. I knew he was going to ask for my license and registration. I made (what I realize now) what could have been a mistake -- I unhooked my seatbelt to reach into the glove box while Officer X was walking up to the van. I think he saw me unbuckle because he didn't say anything about it, but if the unthinkable should ever happen and I get pulled over again, I'll leave the belt on until I'm sure the officer has seen it.
I tried to explain to him about having to accelerate to get up the hill. He gave me one of those “oh, no, not the I-can’t-get-the-van-up-the-hill-without-putting-on-the-gas-but-then-I-slow-down story” looks. Fact of the matter is, I was speeding when I passed him. He only cited me for going nine miles over the limit when in actuality I was going fifteen over. (But I was slowing down! Honestly!)
Now, what is probably the most embarrassing part of this story is where I was going. To a business dinner, to interview a Vietnam veteran for my next book. Not that meeting him was embarrassing; that part was fun. But to have to explain why I was late? To someone who had risked their life to defend our country and I was out recklessly disobeying the laws of the land? That was embarrassing. And he teased me. Mercilessly. My own husband, when he joined us fifteen minutes or so later, didn’t tease me that much. He said he’d let the other guy take care of it.
So, anyway, I decided to go to traffic school. I couldn’t handle the thought of a ticket blemishing my previously spotless record. Three hours of this last Saturday were spent at the Orem court, watching film after film of cars being pulverized. It was like a Scared Straight program. And the worst part – the officer teaching it – you guessed it. Officer X. Who teased me. Mercilessly.
I guess every story should have a moral, as opposed to endless, mindless rambling, which I happen to enjoy from time to time. The point to this blog? Don’t speed in Orem. Or you’ll get teased.
This is going to make a great scene or two in a book someday.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Wonderful, Wonderful Waldenbooks
My hat goes off to Sterling and all the other wonderful employees at the Waldenbooks location in Provo Towne Centre mall. Tonight I went over to the opening night party for Brandon Sanderson's new book "Mistborn" and was impressed beyond belief by the effort put forth to promote.
In the first place, Waldenbooks took a list of everyone who wanted to put a book on hold, so when they showed up for the party, they knew they would get a copy without having to worry that the books would all be gone. 200 people took advantage of this option. Banners hung from the ceiling, little fruit tarts were served, and let me just say, I was very awed by the serpentine queue of fans waiting to see the man himself. If I ever get a line of fans that long, I'll probably faint.
Candace Salima, author and promoter extrordinare, has been working with the store and the invitation now stands for all local authors to come and have their opening nights at Waldenbooks. What does this mean?
1. Authors now have a place to debut their books in a friendly, professional environment, assisted by people who want to make sure they succeed.
2. You, as the buyer, now have the opportunity to come and meet your favorite authors, have your books signed by them, and even place those books on advance order so you can be sure that the new releases make it safely into your eager hands.
This is a win-win situation all the way around. So keep your eyes on Waldenbooks, everyone -- you never know what author they'll have in there next. (Hopefully me, before too much longer!)
In the first place, Waldenbooks took a list of everyone who wanted to put a book on hold, so when they showed up for the party, they knew they would get a copy without having to worry that the books would all be gone. 200 people took advantage of this option. Banners hung from the ceiling, little fruit tarts were served, and let me just say, I was very awed by the serpentine queue of fans waiting to see the man himself. If I ever get a line of fans that long, I'll probably faint.
Candace Salima, author and promoter extrordinare, has been working with the store and the invitation now stands for all local authors to come and have their opening nights at Waldenbooks. What does this mean?
1. Authors now have a place to debut their books in a friendly, professional environment, assisted by people who want to make sure they succeed.
2. You, as the buyer, now have the opportunity to come and meet your favorite authors, have your books signed by them, and even place those books on advance order so you can be sure that the new releases make it safely into your eager hands.
This is a win-win situation all the way around. So keep your eyes on Waldenbooks, everyone -- you never know what author they'll have in there next. (Hopefully me, before too much longer!)
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Writer Tip #1 -- Writing Historical Fiction
I've been asked many, many times how to write historical fiction. In addition to the classes I've taught on the subject at the LDStorymakers' Writers Conference, I've spoken at length to individuals on the topic. What it all boils down to is this: get your facts straight and make them interesting.
I can't even tell you how many times I've had a friend read a manuscript for me to be told that I got everything wrong. I rely on friends to keep me on the straight and narrow, to help me see where I've gone off track -- or not given proper attention to the political ramifications of the event -- or given the wrong impression. Without this important feedback, I would not be a published author. Your facts have got to be straight or you will come off looking like an idiot. I've been there, done that, and it doesn't feel very good. After all the research you can do, always have someone with more knowledge than yourself read it for you. Research can't take the place of the personal knowledge that comes from having lived through the experience yourself. This is why I like having really old friends.
Now, you must make your facts interesting. This can sometimes be the hardest part. You've gotten your information from a very dry textbook and you must now translate it into something that the reader will devour. The most effective tool you can use is emotion. Your character has just witnessed the death of Abraham Lincoln. How did she feel when she saw him fall? Did she see the gunman make his escape? How did she feel when he was captured? A recitation of facts is all very well and good in a college classroom setting, but your reader wants to be enthralled. Use your imagination and put yourself in your character's place. If you were there, what you would have felt?
And as always, watch for repetitive word use, punctuation, and grammar. Nothing breaks up the emotion of a scene like a mistake. It will leap out and wave a flag in the reader's face, pulling them out of the moment and reminding them that it's just a book. But we don't want them to remember it's just a book -- we want them to get sucked in completely. Choose your words carefully. Edit like crazy. Study your manuscript for anything that would jar the reader, and when your work is ready to be published, study the galleys very carefully. Don't shatter the illusion with a badly spelled word or a misplaced comma.
Stay tuned for more, and in the meantime, visit http://www.internetwritingjournal.com/apr06/crook.htm This is a fabulous article on writing historical fiction.
I can't even tell you how many times I've had a friend read a manuscript for me to be told that I got everything wrong. I rely on friends to keep me on the straight and narrow, to help me see where I've gone off track -- or not given proper attention to the political ramifications of the event -- or given the wrong impression. Without this important feedback, I would not be a published author. Your facts have got to be straight or you will come off looking like an idiot. I've been there, done that, and it doesn't feel very good. After all the research you can do, always have someone with more knowledge than yourself read it for you. Research can't take the place of the personal knowledge that comes from having lived through the experience yourself. This is why I like having really old friends.
Now, you must make your facts interesting. This can sometimes be the hardest part. You've gotten your information from a very dry textbook and you must now translate it into something that the reader will devour. The most effective tool you can use is emotion. Your character has just witnessed the death of Abraham Lincoln. How did she feel when she saw him fall? Did she see the gunman make his escape? How did she feel when he was captured? A recitation of facts is all very well and good in a college classroom setting, but your reader wants to be enthralled. Use your imagination and put yourself in your character's place. If you were there, what you would have felt?
And as always, watch for repetitive word use, punctuation, and grammar. Nothing breaks up the emotion of a scene like a mistake. It will leap out and wave a flag in the reader's face, pulling them out of the moment and reminding them that it's just a book. But we don't want them to remember it's just a book -- we want them to get sucked in completely. Choose your words carefully. Edit like crazy. Study your manuscript for anything that would jar the reader, and when your work is ready to be published, study the galleys very carefully. Don't shatter the illusion with a badly spelled word or a misplaced comma.
Stay tuned for more, and in the meantime, visit http://www.internetwritingjournal.com/apr06/crook.htm This is a fabulous article on writing historical fiction.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
I Did Something Right!
(This blog was originally written on April 20th , 2006)
Two Saturdays ago I had the opportunity to travel down to Fillmore and Delta and do Author Extravaganzas with my LDStorymaker friends. While I was in Delta, I met Karola Hilbert Reese, author of We Were Not Alone, the story of her growing up years in Germany during World War II. I used her book as part of my research for my novel Strength to Endure. It was such an honor to meet her and to feel of her wonderful spirit. This morning she called and told me how much she enjoyed my book and that it was very accurate. Her comments meant so much to me, to get that kind of praise from someone you admire. I was in purple puddles all morning.
It’s one thing to create a work of fiction that can be looked upon as a good story, well written, with a good plot. There’s a huge level of satisfaction in that. But my favorite kind of praise is the kind that notices how hard I worked to get it right, and to discover that yes, indeed, I did get it right. Writing historical fiction is different from any other kind of fiction because it focuses on actual events where real men and women lived and fought and loved and died. If I vary from fact, I run the risk of not only losing my credibility, but of offending those who were there and made those sacrifices. Far too often, I do get it wrong. But oh, how good it feels to get it right.
Two Saturdays ago I had the opportunity to travel down to Fillmore and Delta and do Author Extravaganzas with my LDStorymaker friends. While I was in Delta, I met Karola Hilbert Reese, author of We Were Not Alone, the story of her growing up years in Germany during World War II. I used her book as part of my research for my novel Strength to Endure. It was such an honor to meet her and to feel of her wonderful spirit. This morning she called and told me how much she enjoyed my book and that it was very accurate. Her comments meant so much to me, to get that kind of praise from someone you admire. I was in purple puddles all morning.
It’s one thing to create a work of fiction that can be looked upon as a good story, well written, with a good plot. There’s a huge level of satisfaction in that. But my favorite kind of praise is the kind that notices how hard I worked to get it right, and to discover that yes, indeed, I did get it right. Writing historical fiction is different from any other kind of fiction because it focuses on actual events where real men and women lived and fought and loved and died. If I vary from fact, I run the risk of not only losing my credibility, but of offending those who were there and made those sacrifices. Far too often, I do get it wrong. But oh, how good it feels to get it right.
My Many Hats
(This blog was originally written on May 14th , 2006)
Like most women, I have many roles. I’m a wife. I’m a daughter. A sister, a homeschooler, a scrapbooker, a friend, a Visiting Teacher. I’m an author and I own and operate a bath salt business. I’m a mother.
Of all these roles, the one that causes me the most stress is that of mother. It’s not just the dirty diapers and dirty fingers; that I can deal with. It’s the knowledge that I am preparing these children for their lives here on this earth, that I am laying the foundation for their experiences and their beliefs, and that if they end up in therapy at some point, it’s my fault.
Today, on Mother’s Day, I’ve been thinking a lot about the mother vs. author debate that rages on. I’ve been asked many times how I juggle a writing career and motherhood. The honest answer is, sometimes I don’t. Anyone who has dropped by my house unexpectedly can tell you, I am not getting everything done I should.
I’ve always wanted to be a writer. When I got married and started my family, I assumed that my writing career would have to wait, and I was fine with that. When I had the dream that became the plot for “Nothing to Regret” (see FAQs on my website) it was apparent to me that the Lord didn’t want me to wait until my children were grown, like I’d planned. This really surprised me. Isn’t motherhood the greatest calling? Shouldn’t everything else be put on hold?
I’ve come to realize that the answer to this question is yes and no. There is truly no greater calling than motherhood, as the saying goes. Nothing will ever bring you so much joy. You will never work harder but you’ll never be paid as well. (My currency – my daughter gave me a card she made in Activity Days that said, “My mommy is as pretty as a swan.” You can’t buy how that made me feel.) I love my children with all my heart and I want them to have the very best life I can give them, not so much with things and toys but with experiences and love.
Shouldn’t one of those very best things they have be a very best mommy?
When I write, it’s my downtime. I get to pull back from the constant demands and focus on doing something that fills up my bucket and prepares me for the next round of requests. I’m a nicer mommy, a calmer mommy, a better-to-be-around mommy, when I write.
I’m certainly not perfect and I won’t pretend to be (there’s too much evidence to the contrary) but having that time to myself really helps.
I’ve been asked many times how I manage to stay up so late and write. Don’t I miss the sleep? (Do they not see the huge bags under my eyes?) Yes, I miss the sleep, but it’s mental recharging I need the most, and writing does that for me.
I believe that we were given our talents and that we are to use them. I think it would be a dreadful shame to tuck all our talents away only to pull them out when the children are grown. By then, they’d be dusty and moth-eaten. Shouldn’t we use them now, while they’re still fresh?
Of course I’m not suggesting that we all ignore our children while we lock ourselves in our bedrooms and focus solely on building up careers. I’m very mindful of the advice Brigham Young gave his daughter Susa: “If you were to become the greatest writer, the most eloquent woman speaker, the most gifted and learned woman of your time, and had neglected your home and your children in order to become so; if, when you arise on the morning of the Resurrection Day, you found that your duty as a wife and a mother had been sacrificed in order that you might pursue any other duty, you will find your whole life had been a failure.” (Susa Young Gates, “Editor’s Department,” Young Woman’s Journal, 5 (June 1894) : 449).
What I’m suggesting is that we take a few minutes each day to remember that we are choice daughters of God, that we were given hearts and brains and hands and eyes for reasons that extend beyond our wildest imaginings, and that we should keep ourselves as recharged and energized as we can, for our children’s sake. They will be much happier when Mommy’s feeling at the top of her game. They will learn more from us as we strive to keep our minds active by study and reading. As they see us take half an hour here and there to develop our talents, they will want to develop their own. We were given our talents to serve God. Let’s begin serving Him now instead of waiting for things to slow down, because they never will and we might find countless opportunities to serve had passed us by.
Like most women, I have many roles. I’m a wife. I’m a daughter. A sister, a homeschooler, a scrapbooker, a friend, a Visiting Teacher. I’m an author and I own and operate a bath salt business. I’m a mother.
Of all these roles, the one that causes me the most stress is that of mother. It’s not just the dirty diapers and dirty fingers; that I can deal with. It’s the knowledge that I am preparing these children for their lives here on this earth, that I am laying the foundation for their experiences and their beliefs, and that if they end up in therapy at some point, it’s my fault.
Today, on Mother’s Day, I’ve been thinking a lot about the mother vs. author debate that rages on. I’ve been asked many times how I juggle a writing career and motherhood. The honest answer is, sometimes I don’t. Anyone who has dropped by my house unexpectedly can tell you, I am not getting everything done I should.
I’ve always wanted to be a writer. When I got married and started my family, I assumed that my writing career would have to wait, and I was fine with that. When I had the dream that became the plot for “Nothing to Regret” (see FAQs on my website) it was apparent to me that the Lord didn’t want me to wait until my children were grown, like I’d planned. This really surprised me. Isn’t motherhood the greatest calling? Shouldn’t everything else be put on hold?
I’ve come to realize that the answer to this question is yes and no. There is truly no greater calling than motherhood, as the saying goes. Nothing will ever bring you so much joy. You will never work harder but you’ll never be paid as well. (My currency – my daughter gave me a card she made in Activity Days that said, “My mommy is as pretty as a swan.” You can’t buy how that made me feel.) I love my children with all my heart and I want them to have the very best life I can give them, not so much with things and toys but with experiences and love.
Shouldn’t one of those very best things they have be a very best mommy?
When I write, it’s my downtime. I get to pull back from the constant demands and focus on doing something that fills up my bucket and prepares me for the next round of requests. I’m a nicer mommy, a calmer mommy, a better-to-be-around mommy, when I write.
I’m certainly not perfect and I won’t pretend to be (there’s too much evidence to the contrary) but having that time to myself really helps.
I’ve been asked many times how I manage to stay up so late and write. Don’t I miss the sleep? (Do they not see the huge bags under my eyes?) Yes, I miss the sleep, but it’s mental recharging I need the most, and writing does that for me.
I believe that we were given our talents and that we are to use them. I think it would be a dreadful shame to tuck all our talents away only to pull them out when the children are grown. By then, they’d be dusty and moth-eaten. Shouldn’t we use them now, while they’re still fresh?
Of course I’m not suggesting that we all ignore our children while we lock ourselves in our bedrooms and focus solely on building up careers. I’m very mindful of the advice Brigham Young gave his daughter Susa: “If you were to become the greatest writer, the most eloquent woman speaker, the most gifted and learned woman of your time, and had neglected your home and your children in order to become so; if, when you arise on the morning of the Resurrection Day, you found that your duty as a wife and a mother had been sacrificed in order that you might pursue any other duty, you will find your whole life had been a failure.” (Susa Young Gates, “Editor’s Department,” Young Woman’s Journal, 5 (June 1894) : 449).
What I’m suggesting is that we take a few minutes each day to remember that we are choice daughters of God, that we were given hearts and brains and hands and eyes for reasons that extend beyond our wildest imaginings, and that we should keep ourselves as recharged and energized as we can, for our children’s sake. They will be much happier when Mommy’s feeling at the top of her game. They will learn more from us as we strive to keep our minds active by study and reading. As they see us take half an hour here and there to develop our talents, they will want to develop their own. We were given our talents to serve God. Let’s begin serving Him now instead of waiting for things to slow down, because they never will and we might find countless opportunities to serve had passed us by.
Song 45,897
(This blog was originally written on May 19th, 2006)
I like to listen to the radio as I drive in the car. It’s the only place that’s quiet enough to actually hear what’s being played. I sing along to the Carpenters, Air Supply, Billy Joel. I also listen to the music that’s being written more recently, and I’ve come to a conclusion that isn’t surprising, but it’s disappointing nonetheless. There are no new songs.
With all the songs that have ever been written since the dawn of time, we’ve heard just about every possible note combination, lyrical phrase, and beat of a drum. The songs are all starting to sound alike. It’s almost as if the songwriter sits down with their sheet of paper and says, “Okay, I’ll take line A from song 459 and line G from song 136 and then I’ll set it to the tune of song 448. Presto! There’s my new song!” It’s so rare anymore to hear a song that truly is unique. That’s why song composers such as Burt Bacharach are such a blessing, with their clever lyrics and unusual melodies. And we must not forget Rockapella, my favorite group of all time. I may just write them their own blog.
The phenomenon of "nothing new" also exists in the world of literature. I had a discussion with some friends a while back about the theory that every book has already been written, and all the books being written now are just mixtures of books that have gone before. I can see their point very clearly, but I don’t like it.
As an author, I want to stand up and be different. I want to be fresh and exciting. I want my readers to come to the end of one of my books and say, “Wow! That was really different.” But is that possible? Or am I just rewriting books that have already been written and been around the block one too many times?
I think it’s important to remember that we are all individuals, sent here from Heaven with our own personalities, our own spirits, our own souls and our own missions. No two persons on this earth were given exactly the same traits or exactly the same job to do. Even identical twins have their own characteristics. We are like snowflakes, but we are eternal, not doomed to melt as soon as the warm air touches us. And with our uniqueness, our inherent individuality that is ours alone, is it too odd to think that we could also have a song or a story within us, that no one else could write? I’d like to think so. And I’m going to keep trying until I’ve done it.
I like to listen to the radio as I drive in the car. It’s the only place that’s quiet enough to actually hear what’s being played. I sing along to the Carpenters, Air Supply, Billy Joel. I also listen to the music that’s being written more recently, and I’ve come to a conclusion that isn’t surprising, but it’s disappointing nonetheless. There are no new songs.
With all the songs that have ever been written since the dawn of time, we’ve heard just about every possible note combination, lyrical phrase, and beat of a drum. The songs are all starting to sound alike. It’s almost as if the songwriter sits down with their sheet of paper and says, “Okay, I’ll take line A from song 459 and line G from song 136 and then I’ll set it to the tune of song 448. Presto! There’s my new song!” It’s so rare anymore to hear a song that truly is unique. That’s why song composers such as Burt Bacharach are such a blessing, with their clever lyrics and unusual melodies. And we must not forget Rockapella, my favorite group of all time. I may just write them their own blog.
The phenomenon of "nothing new" also exists in the world of literature. I had a discussion with some friends a while back about the theory that every book has already been written, and all the books being written now are just mixtures of books that have gone before. I can see their point very clearly, but I don’t like it.
As an author, I want to stand up and be different. I want to be fresh and exciting. I want my readers to come to the end of one of my books and say, “Wow! That was really different.” But is that possible? Or am I just rewriting books that have already been written and been around the block one too many times?
I think it’s important to remember that we are all individuals, sent here from Heaven with our own personalities, our own spirits, our own souls and our own missions. No two persons on this earth were given exactly the same traits or exactly the same job to do. Even identical twins have their own characteristics. We are like snowflakes, but we are eternal, not doomed to melt as soon as the warm air touches us. And with our uniqueness, our inherent individuality that is ours alone, is it too odd to think that we could also have a song or a story within us, that no one else could write? I’d like to think so. And I’m going to keep trying until I’ve done it.
"For Tantrums, See Page 4"
Someone asked me the other day if I didn’t wish that my children came with an instruction manual. For a split second I was tempted to say yes. Just think about it – the child is screaming bloody murder. You find “screaming bloody murder” in the index, turn to page 33, and discover that by shoving a banana or piece of toast into their wide open mouths, you can stop the screaming. Presto – problem solved.
But immediately on the heels of my flippant thought came another, and this is the answer I gave. “I’m glad our children don’t come with instruction books, because that means that at one time, there would have been an instruction book about me, and I prefer to remain a mystery.” And then I added, “Besides, it would take away the blessing of free agency.”
Our children come to the earth with individual personalities and characteristics, just as you and I have as adults. Part of learning to care for them and love them is learning what makes them tick. If we had a manual to turn to every time they did something that confused us, we would never grow in our relationships with them. There would be no need to sit down and talk to them and try to understand where they’re coming from. If the manual said every time our little boy cried, all we had to do was push a hidden button in his nose, that's all we'd do and never get to the cause of his tears, and we’d never discover all those inner layers that make him uniquely him.
In addition, if there was an instruction manual, that would indicate that the child would never do anything that was not covered in the manual. They could never be spontaneous. If they were, we’d have to send them in to get repaired, because they were malfunctioning and weren’t behaving according to the manual’s specifications.
I’m more grateful than I can say that we are all individual, that there’s no set of expected behaviors forced upon us, and that we are free to choose our own actions and therefore the consequences or rewards. It makes life more complicated, but it makes it so much more rewarding.
But immediately on the heels of my flippant thought came another, and this is the answer I gave. “I’m glad our children don’t come with instruction books, because that means that at one time, there would have been an instruction book about me, and I prefer to remain a mystery.” And then I added, “Besides, it would take away the blessing of free agency.”
Our children come to the earth with individual personalities and characteristics, just as you and I have as adults. Part of learning to care for them and love them is learning what makes them tick. If we had a manual to turn to every time they did something that confused us, we would never grow in our relationships with them. There would be no need to sit down and talk to them and try to understand where they’re coming from. If the manual said every time our little boy cried, all we had to do was push a hidden button in his nose, that's all we'd do and never get to the cause of his tears, and we’d never discover all those inner layers that make him uniquely him.
In addition, if there was an instruction manual, that would indicate that the child would never do anything that was not covered in the manual. They could never be spontaneous. If they were, we’d have to send them in to get repaired, because they were malfunctioning and weren’t behaving according to the manual’s specifications.
I’m more grateful than I can say that we are all individual, that there’s no set of expected behaviors forced upon us, and that we are free to choose our own actions and therefore the consequences or rewards. It makes life more complicated, but it makes it so much more rewarding.
In Memory of Christopher Reeve
Christopher Reeve set the screen on fire as the mysterious and dashing Superman. Nerdy and innocuous as Clark Kent, a quick trip into a phone booth and presto! Handsome super hero with startling blue eyes, mischievous grin, fierce loyalty and determination to do whatever was needed to save the world. Sure, the story was campy, the special effects cheesy, and the plot didn’t always make sense. But Christopher Reeve could pull it off. We’d believe anything if Christopher Reeve said it.
Superman was just one of many roles Chris took on. No one will ever forget his performance in Somewhere in Time. (No comments, James) It doesn’t matter how many times I see that movie; it always gets me. The Mousetrap – a very odd film, to say the least, but the performance was outstanding. The list goes on and on. Christopher Reeve was an actor among actors.
When I heard about the accident which nearly ended his life, I was heartbroken. Superman was now crippled, never again able to be our hero. I was so wrong. Lobbying in Congress, speaking to thousands upon thousands at rallies around the world, working hours a day to improve his muscle strength, he never gave up. His life story is amazing. Written into a book called Still Me, it talks about his life before and after the accident and his impatience with people who complain and say they can’t do something. In his mind, they are more handicapped than he is. I agree.
The relationship with his wife Dana was something to admire. The love and devotion they had for each other was heartwarming and beautiful. She was by his side through all the triumphs and all the pain, his #1 cheerleader and support. It’s really no wonder to me that she left this earth not too long after he did. They were a team.
The other day I was in the store and saw a rack of merchandise from the new movie Superman Returns. I guess Hollywood has the right to make whatever movies they want; it’s a free country, although I do think it’s in extremely poor taste to release this movie so soon after Dana’s passing. I for one won’t be seeing it. There’s a special place in my heart for Christopher Reeve’s Superman that no other Superman can take. He is Superman and always will be, in Hollywood and his own personal life.
Superman was just one of many roles Chris took on. No one will ever forget his performance in Somewhere in Time. (No comments, James) It doesn’t matter how many times I see that movie; it always gets me. The Mousetrap – a very odd film, to say the least, but the performance was outstanding. The list goes on and on. Christopher Reeve was an actor among actors.
When I heard about the accident which nearly ended his life, I was heartbroken. Superman was now crippled, never again able to be our hero. I was so wrong. Lobbying in Congress, speaking to thousands upon thousands at rallies around the world, working hours a day to improve his muscle strength, he never gave up. His life story is amazing. Written into a book called Still Me, it talks about his life before and after the accident and his impatience with people who complain and say they can’t do something. In his mind, they are more handicapped than he is. I agree.
The relationship with his wife Dana was something to admire. The love and devotion they had for each other was heartwarming and beautiful. She was by his side through all the triumphs and all the pain, his #1 cheerleader and support. It’s really no wonder to me that she left this earth not too long after he did. They were a team.
The other day I was in the store and saw a rack of merchandise from the new movie Superman Returns. I guess Hollywood has the right to make whatever movies they want; it’s a free country, although I do think it’s in extremely poor taste to release this movie so soon after Dana’s passing. I for one won’t be seeing it. There’s a special place in my heart for Christopher Reeve’s Superman that no other Superman can take. He is Superman and always will be, in Hollywood and his own personal life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
