People Change . . .

My favorite color has always been lavender.

I don't remember when I first made this decision. I like pink - probably will forever - but there was something about lavender that just spoke to me. It was softer than purple, a little more unusual, and it felt pretty and feminine and just right. I can't remember a time when it wasn't my favorite.

The other day I was experimenting with backgrounds in my Gmail account. I have a couple of accounts and I use them for different things. I figured I'd change the background of each to help me mentally separate them. One is a bright blue with green leaves. One is just the regular setup. And my most-used account is lavender.

And I discovered something. 

I don't like lavender anymore.

It reminds me of a person I used to be, not the person I am now. When I look at it, I feel limited, like I'm being dragged backwards into my old faults and into people's old expectations of me. It's like the ghost of a former Tristi when there's a new Tristi right in front of us, a more confident, wiser Tristi.

Isn't it weird how a color can do that?

So I'm changing the color of my e-mail account. I haven't decided what to use instead - there are a lot of choices. But I'll chose something that feels like progress.

And you want to know something? I've chosen a new favorite color.

Eggplant. 

This is who I am now.

And in twenty years, I'll probably change my mind again, and that's all right, because it means that I've grown again, which is how it should be.

Guest Post: Ryan Hunter on Ten Random Writing Facts

Hey everyone,

I'd like to introduce you to my writer friend, Ryan Hunter. She pretty much rocks in a massive way. Rather than my telling you this, though, how about if I turn the time over to her and she can demonstrate her awesomeness for herself.

***

Ten Random Writing Facts

1.    “In Search of Lost Time” was the longest novel ever written at 4,211 pages and a word count of 1.2 million.

2.    From the time a person begins writing as a hobby, it takes them an average of eight years to become traditionally published.

3.    Agented authors send an average of 65 queries before gaining representation.

4.    Total time for a novel to reach the shelves after the initial idea: about two years.

5.    Random House recently paid out what could be the highest advance of all time, $3.5 million for the essay collection “Not That Kind of Girl” by Lena Dunham.

6.    “A Tale of Two Cities” by Charles Dickens is considered to be the highest selling book of all time with 200 million copies since its publication in 1859.

7.    John Locke, author of nine novels, was the first author to sell more than 1 million Kindle books on Amazon, the eighth to join the Kindle Million Club.

8.    Author Hugh Howey says he makes six-figures each month from Amazon book sales.

9.    The highest grossing movie based on a book (adjusted for inflation) was “Gone With the Wind” with a gross of: $400 million, inflation adjusted to $6.52 billion.

10.  According to a report in The Guardian, most self-published authors average $10,000 per year with unlimited earning potential.

Bio: 

Ryan Hunter is the author of inDIVISIBLE, a dystopian that’s being hailed as a modern-day 1984; and Premeditated, a YA suspense. She’s a wife and mother of five. She’s an avid runner, blogger and baker.

Website: propertyofoneunited.com

Facebook: facebook.com/authorryanhunter

Twitter: @ryanhunter45

Blog: authorryanhunter.blogspot.com

Book Tour and Guest Post by Monique Bucheger

This past year, I had the chance to meet and become friends with Monique Bucheger, who writes middle-grade family drama. I think we might have been brought together at first because my book is called Secret Sisters and her first book is The Secret Sisters Club. We were even mistaken for each other a few times at last year's LDStorymakers writers conference. I'm also sometimes mistaken for Josi Kilpack. Hey, what can I say - I get compared to all the good ones.

Then I had the chance to edit one of Monique's books, and I enjoyed the experience a lot. We don't have enough middle-grade fiction right now that's not fantasy, and I think middle graders need more stories that are based on everyday families.

I asked Monique if she'd stop by my blog and share with us some things that are important to her, and while you're at it, enter your information in the rafflecopter below to be entered to win some very fun stuff. You can also purchase all Monique's books here.

Take it away, Monique!

***

Hi, Everybody!

 I want to thank Tristi for allowing me this opportunity to share a few thoughts. I’m new to guest blogging (this is my very first one) and I have been trying to figure out what to share with you. Then I remembered a recent email announcing the title of Tristi's sixteen-year-old daughter’s first book: Good Thing Daddy’s A Super Hero. I want to take a moment to say: “Congratulations, Caryn! I admire you for accomplishing what I only dreamed of at your age.” I love her title and it makes me want to share a few notions I have about the male parental unit.

First of all, even though society may have us believe differently, dads are important … very important. I love that Caryn must think highly of her dad to write such a book. I love it when my own kids have something kind to say about their dad, because after all, I picked him, and I think he’s a pretty great guy.

Being a good parent is a tough job some days, and while most parents don’t quit after a bad day … it’s nice to be appreciated. One thing I’m noticing in our media is that dads are being portrayed more and more as irrelevant, if they are pictured at all. Most sitcom dads have been reduced to an ATM or a joke, which is truly sad for the increasing number of kids growing up in fatherless households. They don’t have a real-life role model and the media dads are increasingly less desirable.

Recently, I attended the funeral of a young bishop whose four children range in age between 15 and 23. Each child stood and shared memories of their dad and the great example he was as a listener, teacher, counselor, encourager, and rock in their lives. He most certainly had been a great influence and will be sorely missed, but because he had done his job well, I left the funeral uplifted and hopeful that each child would carry the strength of their father’s love in their hearts and minds, and know unconditionally that they were cherished.

The main character in my Ginnie West series has the opposite issue. Ginnie is a half-orphaned girl being raised by a widower dad who has tried very hard to provide a loving home to his two kids. Ginnie’s best friend, Tillie, didn’t fare so well. Her birth father was abusive and abandoned her six years before. Tillie recognizes a good dad when she sees one and wants to trade up. She waits impatiently for the day that Ginnie’s dad will ask her mom to marry him. Ginnie doesn’t really have an issue with sharing her dad with her best friend, but she does want to find out about the mom she lost as a toddler that he doesn’t often talk about. Together, the BFFs have to figure out how to make their new family work.

It’s one thing to have your greatest wish come true: becoming “for real sisters” with your best friend, but sometimes getting what you want doesn’t always work out like you thought it would. Tillie’s not so sure there’s room for the ghost of Ginnie’s mom in their new family tree, all the while she tries to purge the father who hurt and disappointed her from her mind. Ginnie has very few memories of her birth mom, and questions whether she wants them replaced with a stepmom, even a kind and loving mom like Tillie’s.

As they go along, the girls realize that they’ll need to adjust their visions of “the perfect family” to accommodate their best friend’s missing parent and happiness. Being “for real” sisters isn’t turning out quite like they had planned. It doesn’t help when a blast from the past threatens to push Tillie over the edge and she clings to Ginnie’s dad to get her through. Ginnie would love it if her dad would concentrate on Tillie and give her more room to be who she wants and thinks she needs to be. Too bad his past is as haunted as Tillie’s, and he’s determined to protect Ginnie from a danger he won’t name.

In my latest book, Simply West of Heaven: A Ginnie West Adventure, Ginnie finds herself torn between her loyalty to her dad and what could be the answer to her prayers. Her dad wants to keep her safe and Ginnie wants the truth, but when she discovers it, everything changes. Ginnie and Tillie aren’t prepared for the changes and scramble to make sense of the twists. Tillie faces old fears and Ginnie learns more than she ever wanted to know about her best friend, her dad, her mother, and ultimately … herself. And that’s okay because life isn’t meant to be a do-it yourself project. It’s the people in your life that make living a richer, more engaging experience. I’ve been thinking about a quote from Mother Theresa lately: Never worry about the numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you. That’s seems like a good motto as we go through life.

 Laugh lots … love much … write on. :)  a Rafflecopter giveaway

Marie Higgins - Virtual Book Tour, Guest Post, and $25.00 Amazon Giveaway

Marie Higgins is one of the most prolific authors I know. She has published a scadillion books (yes, that is an actual number) through traditional publishers and also as an independent author. She is also a mother and holds down a full-time job. I have no idea how she does it, so I asked her to tell us all her secrets as the topic for her guest blog today. I turn the time over to Marie. And when you're done reading her thoughts, enter to win a $25.00 Amazon gift card. And go buy her newest book, Take My Heart. 


My writing life while raising a family…

This subject is really a loaded question since I’m not even sure I know how I was able to write while raising a family and working full time. So, bear with me while I travel back in time a little…

Once upon a time… heeheee  No, my life is definitely not a fairytale. When I first started writing, my youngest was six years old and in Kindergarten. I worked only part time during these years, so it was a little easier for me to find time for my writing. When I realized my daughters didn’t need me at their side constantly, I decided I wanted to keep my mind active with writing than to sit on the couch and watch tv and be unproductive.  So, after I helped my daughters with their homework—and after I fixed dinner—I grabbed my notebook and pencil (we didn’t have computers back then…they were called Word Processors, but I couldn’t afford to have one anyway) and wrote my stories while curled up on the couch. The tv was downstairs as was the kids’ toy room, so I had the peace and quiet I needed to create. As the girls grew and relied on me to take them to school functions, I was always there for them. If they needed help with their homework, they knew they could find me in my writing room (by this time, I did own a Word Processor), and I put my stories away and helped my daughters.

Soon came the time when I had to start working eight hours a day. I really didn’t know if I could do this and write—and be a mother, too. It took me a few months to adjust, but soon I started writing again. The girls had more school activities, and my husband needed some attention as well. I realized that if I was going to make a career out of my writing, I needed to focus better. I needed to write the story from start to finish instead of working on one chapter for months before moving on. I joined online critique groups who helped a lot, and I finally started to feel like I was learning my craft without making millions of mistakes.

Now it’s a routine. I wake up at 7:00 a.m. to get ready for work, then I come home at 5:00 p.m. I make dinner and eat. Then after dinner I’m in the computer room writing until 9:30 p.m. when I get ready for bed. My girls are grown and have left the house. (YEAH!) My husband now realizes how important it is for me to write and bring in a little extra money each month (since he’s out of a job and has been for two years). My focus is better, and I can write a story from start to finish in about six weeks. I don’t write every night because my daughter and grandkids come over to visit, but once they leave I’m back on the computer. And…believe it or not, hubby and I do have date nights. 

 About the author

Marie Higgins is a multi-published author of romance; from refined bad-boy heroes who makes your heart melt to the feisty heroines who somehow manage to love them regardless of their faults. Visit her website / blog to discover more about her –http://mariehiggins84302.blogspot.com

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Finished Being Fat by Betsy Schow

I know what it's like to be fat. I've spent most of my adult life (and a good portion of my teenage life, too) fat. It's only been in the last year and a half that I've started seeing success on my own journey. So when I met author Betsy Schow and learned that she'd recently lost 75 pounds, I knew I could relate to her. I endorsed her book gladly, and today, I'm delighted to share some words of wisdom from her. I now turn the time over to Betsy. 

About Betsy and Finished Being Fat

After many years of being fat and miserable, with a few years of being average and less miserable mixed in, I finally had a lightbulb moment. The reason I was unhappy, was not just the extra 75 pounds of pudge I was carrying. It was the weight of all the things unfinished that hung around my neck. I was always having grand ideas. I'd get excited about this diet, or that workout routine. Or starting a new hobby or project. Problem was, within a few weeks the excitement would fade and that little voice would kick in. You know the one I'm talking about.

"You're no good at this. You'll never keep the weight off. Why are you even bothering?"

And every time I quit, my wall of failures would get a little higher -- making success that much harder to see.

What started out as yet another attempt to get rid of the weight around my middle, snowballed into a year of changing my life, my marriage and the way I raise my kids. Not to mention accomplishing seemingly impossible dreams.

Whether your goal is losing weight, running a marathon, cleaning out the basement, or all of the above, this book will teach you how to achieve more than you ever thought possible without sacrificing your sanity or sense of humor. 

For this guest post, Tristi asked me to write a little bit about what I eat now and what I do when I’m tempted. Short answer, I eat whatever I want. Long answer, I can eat whatever I want as long as it fits in the budget. That’s how I lost the weight and kept it off for almost two years now, by eating less and moving more. So just like I need a household budget to keep me from spending this month’s mortgage payment on clothes, I have a calorie budget that keeps me from blowing up bigger than the national debt.

It’s funny how a budget makes you evaluate your choices. When I was a kid, my dad gave me 2 bucks. I spent it all in five minutes on something stupid. Then I cried when my sisters got to go on the carousel and I didn’t because I had spent all my money. Calorie budgets work on the same principle. I can blow my entire day’s worth on a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, but I might be awfully hungry later.

I, personally, have to be really strict with myself. I have decided that there is no overspending on the budget, ever. If I give even an inch, I know the inches will come - to my waistline. But on those days when only a gourmet cupcake and all its 500 calorie goodness will do, (and you know there are still plenty of those days) then I make myself fit it into the budget either by giving up other foods for the day, or by earning more. As a kid, I would have to clean up dog poop to earn extra allowance. Earning extra calories isn’t that much better. For me it usually involves a whole lot of running. But it can really be any sort of exercise where your body burns calories, thus earning you more for your budget.

By hardlining myself, I come in under my budget, everyday, no excuses. It’s taught me a discipline that has come in handy in many a writer’s deadline. But it’s taught me to make smarter choice. 5 starbursts = 1 mile. I don’t know about you, but I will never eat starbursts again now, just not worth it. A cinnamon roll however....

If you want your own personal calorie budget visit me at www.betsyschow.com

And come on my adventure in Finished Being Fat, available at Deseret Book, Seagull, Barnes and Noble, and Amazon. You’ll like it -- Tristi says so, she’s quoted in the front cover :)